Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Routine is good for minions #3

So, here is what I have to do in the late afternoon to train my minions. When they come back from their "work" I need to get them exercised a bit. After all they haven't done anything all day, it's a bit of a stretch for me, because I have been real busy but, you have to do it. And I have noticed a bit of a belly on dad lately... Though it's mum I'm making run in the evening, if you see what I mean... I'm not saying anything in case she sees that post, because she will get mad...

Anyway, mum seems to think I am some sort of horse, I indulge her as you have to think of the emotional well being of your minions. She must have some sort of repressed horse needs.... She keeps strapping me in all types of horse tacks, on the head, on my back, around my neck. I'll very soon look more like a mummy than the beautiful majestic and handsome dog I am, if you ask me! She says that's because she still needs her shoulders and I can't contain myself when I see fluffies, she just doesn't know how to have fun, but I will exemplify she is a kill-joy a bit later (this minion needs more training...).

Anyway, after I put my army gears on, I let her think that she selects one route for the evening. In reality, I subconsciously send telepathic waves about which route I want, like a jedi! And we go where I want on my preferred path. The thing is, I love all the routes, they are all my favourite, I am never disappointed because she always chose... euh... which route did I think of tonight? mmm I can't remember if that was the one.... Oh well still loved it!

We usually do around 4-5km each evening, with a pass through a shopping village (I've had issues with people from puppyhood, but I'll talk about that somewhere else) and if she wants to be very mean with me to try to make herself more "in charge", we pass somewhere around kids. I don't like kids, don't trust them a bit, they are scary! Mum tries to explain to me that they are ok, but I'm not convinced. She says I'll get used to them eventually, mpf, still don't trust them...

Let's go to my happy place ahhhh, yes, dead possums, rotting...ahhhh, good I can continue now.

My favourite pass-time, when we are on a walk is trying to get mum all flustered. I found two easy ways:

A- Smelling every single little thing, and every blade of grass, stone, you name it. So that a short stroll of 45 mins ends up lasting more than 2h. I did it last time, my record: 2h30 for 4km, yeeeehaaaa. Who's the doggy!

B- Doing what mum calls "poo-ling" (between you and me I think she is a tad obsessed with poos, but anyway...). She is always sooooo slow walking anywhere, so I'm trying to get her to move a tad faster. And there is always something super dupper cool just out of reach in front, oh! Or on the left... Oh no it moved to the right! Ah nope back in front. The only thing is she keeps stopping and telling "back with me". I think she's insecure and needs cuddles, that must be it.

The best part of every walk is when we pass to the houses with cats. I know all of them. All the cats are pretty fearless in the neighbourhood, they never move away, they even sometime come to me meowing!! My delusion mist must be working. They think I am a harmless wimp!! They do not know how I am the master hunter and it is only just a trap for them to come closer (no mum not only in my mind!! What is she doing here that one!!).

The even besterer part is when we go somewhere with RABBITS. On one side of the road, where we used to go when I was a tiny pup, there is a serious rabbit infestation. They are everywhere, I looooove it. Mum keeps grumpying about shoulders and joints, whatever...
We never go there enough really. I like rabbits!!! Ah well...

The idol of a rabbit seen on an evening walk.
Very good job I must say for old fallen flowers!

I always end the outing with a bit of a boring walk part (she calls it "good" walk...), you always need to finish a training of the minion on a good note. I just need to not "pool" for 10m to the house and she's all happy. It's so cute how simple mummy is really...

I'll continue later, got to go watch telly, there's "minuscule" on! I like the animated flies and ladybugs *** head tilt***

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